(Image of Mt. McLoughlin from http://www.summitpost.org/mount-mcloughlin/150504)
My grandmother was my biggest cheerleader. No matter what
happened in my life, good or bad, she was always the first to call me and say
"Grandpa and I love you so much, we are so proud of you". Almost
three years ago, she passed away. And there are days I still desperately need
that phone call. But now, when things are crazy I get out of my house and go
look at "Our Mountain", Mt. McLoughlin.
I call it
"My Mountain" because my grandma called it "Her Mountain"
after she climbed McLoughlin on her 19th birthday. She loved that mountain and
always said that climbing it was one of her greatest accomplishments. On the
night of her funeral, My brother and I got the crazy Idea to climb it for her
on what would have been her 75th birthday just a few short weeks away.
It was truly the hardest thing I've ever done
in my life. Anytime I need
inspiration I stare up at that mountain and I relive the day I climbed it. It
was something I wanted to do more than anything else, even though people told
me I shouldn't, that didn't matter to me, I wanted it. The night before my dad
called me and said "I don't think this is a good idea." I told him,
"Dad, don't worry. I've been studying the trail guides for the past month.
I know the reference points I am supposed to watch for. I'm ready"
So at 6:30 the
next morning we hit the trail head with my youngest brother, my son and my
son's friend.
Hour 1: was so
hard. I couldn't catch my breath, I felt like I had to stop every few minutes,
my pack was uncomfortable, my clothes were bugging me, I was miserable. I
started thinking "what am I doing? I have no business doing something like
this" and I kept looking back towards the parking lot. But I'm stubborn so I kept walking..
Hour 2: The
guilt really started to set in. "Why did I think I could do this? What am
I going to put my family through if I fall half-way up, I should just turn
around..." I was sure at this point, it wasn't a matter of if, but when I
was going to have to be life-flighted off the mountain. Then what would happen
to these boys I am supposed to be leading?
Hour 3: was the
best hour! I found my stride, the pace started to get easier and I started to
enjoy it. The boys had worked to improve my mood. We started hiking with
another group of hikers and were having a good time. We reached the tree line
and felt for the first time like we were making progress.
Hour 4: it
REALLY started to get hard, somehow in the fun we were having in hour three, we
got off the path and ended up in the bolder fields along the front of the
mountain. This is where most hikers get lost because the trail isn't well
marked past the tree line. I had put the trail guides in my pack and stopped
looking for reference points. Every step we took was a test of strength,
climbing over and around these boulders trying to get back to the path, and
trying not to panic worried we were on the verge of getting lost. But I had my
brother and my son there encouraging me along when I felt like I couldn't go
anymore. After about an hour we made it back to the path. And as we took a
short break we looked up and for the first time could see the summit. Our goal
was so close!
Hour 5: The
final stretch of the climb is no longer a test of strength, it is 100% mental.
I could see my family up a head, my brother kept calling to me but I just
waived him on. There I was, just me and the mountain I was determined to
conquer. The mountain went silent and for the next hour I do not remember
anyone else there but me. Now, what some people don't realized is at the top of
the mountain, it's all volcanic ash. So every step you take, you slide back 6
inches; there is no traction, nothing but sheer determination and will is going
to keep you moving forward. I wanted to cry, or curse, but I kept putting one
foot in front of the other. I remember talking out loud, saying "Grandma, I
don't know how you did this. You may have to push my hiney up this stupid hill.
I'm not sure I can make it." Then I began to silently pray for help,
"Lord, I can't do this without you. I can't do this." My pace slowed to a virtual crawl, there I was
on my hands and knees worn out with exhaustion. I looked up and there was a
small boulder about 10 feet in front of me, almost glowing, I thought I will be
make it there and rest. Just about the time I made to that small boulder there
was another one, I kept climbing. Then, another one. Finally, I stood up and I
realized I had reached the top. My emotions overwhelmed me; accomplishment,
sorrow and exhaustion. Tears streamed down my face as I stood at the summit
where my grandmother stood 56 years before. My brother stood there with his
arms wide open and gave me the biggest hug.
My favorite
talk is by President Henry B Erying gave a talk called "Mountains to
Climb" He first quoted President Spencer W Kimball "There are great
challenges ahead of us, giant opportunities to be met. I welcome that exciting
prospect and feel to say to the Lord, humbly, Give me this mountain, give me
these challenges" Whenever I struggle and have challenges in my life, I go
find a spot to stop and look up and my mountain, remind myself that I can
overcome whatever struggles are ahead. I tell myself these same words
"Give me this mountain, give me these challenges" and feel a renewed
energy to keep moving forward. President Eyring reminds us that the Lord
promised "I will not forsake thee" then he goes on to talk about
laying a solid foundation in faith and without that the power to endure will crumble.
He says
"the ground must be carefully
prepared for our foundation in faith to withstand the storms that will come
into every life. That solid basis for a foundation is
personal integrity...choosing the right consistently whenever the choice is placed before us
creates the solid ground under our faith."
So what I wanted to ask you is what hour
are you in right now?
Are you in Hour
1, sitting there completely uncomfortable, not sure if you are on the right
path and looking for the exits?
Are you in Hour
2, feeling the weight and guilt of every decision you've made and wondering if
you are making the right choices now to lead your family to the summit?
Are you in Hour
3, all of us want to live our entire lives only in Hour 3. Things are good,
you're climbing those mountains, making progress. Making new friends. Life is
enjoyable and almost easy. But the tricky part about Hour 3 is, if you stay in
hour 3 you will never make it to the summit. You have to face those struggles
and challenges in order to humble yourself to truly feel faith. President
Eyring talked about in this talk that he prayed and asked for a test. His
prayer was answered almost immediately. But it taught him that God had heard
his prayer but he also learned that great blessings come from adversity. I grew
up in Tucson and have had several opportunities to visit the biosphere. All of
the tress inside the biosphere are tipped over. When building the biosphere
they forgot to account for wind. It's the storms that make the trees strong.
Just as the storms in our lives make our faith strong.
Are you in Hour
4, where you have lost your way? Have you stopped looking at your trail guides
and reference points? What are your trail guides and reference points? These
were my grandmothers scriptures. These were her trail guides. Are you using
yours? Or are they in your pack? What are your reference points? Our church
leaders and prophets, look to them. They are our reference points
I want each one of you to know is this journey
in life is all about Hour 5. We all are headed the same way and though we may
start out on this path together, in the end we each have our own journey to
make, and we will each arrive in our own time. That day I climbed my mountain,
some people raced ahead of me. My brother and my son made it to the summit
before I did. They had their own journey and I'm sure if you asked them both,
they would each have a different story to tell. Some people fell behind, some turned
around and gave up. In reading back through my notes of that day I was reminded
of a husband and wife that were also climbing. The wife, worn with exhausting
gave up and stopped hiking. The husband continued on, without looking back. Now
I could say a lot of different things about what I thought of that man that but
it was a reminder that its the same with faith. Each individual person is
responsible for their journey. Again, some people may fall behind, some may
give up This reminded me of another talk by Pres. Eyring he talked about a friends grandmother that
had lived a faithful life. Yet another grandson had lost his way and ended up
in prison: "as she drove along a highway to visit her grandson, had tears
in her eyes as she prayed with anguish, "I've tried to live a good life.
Why, why do I have this tragedy of a grandson who seems to have destroyed his
life?"
The answer came to her mind in these words: "I gave him
to you because I knew you could and would love him no matter what he
did.""
Love, those
around you no matter what. Know that their journey is theirs to make, in their
own time. Lay the foundation of faith, for them. But remember, you are on your
own journey as well. Remember your trail guides, and look to your reference
points. I know this journey will take me
a little longer than the nine and half hours I spent on my mountain. And I know
that to get where I am going, I cannot make it without getting on my knees
looking up and saying "Lord, I cannot do this without you." And when
we make it to the summit I know my father in heaven, my savior and my loved
ones that made it ahead of me will again, be waiting for me with their arms
wide open. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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